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Dreams and Decisions

When I was little, all I ever dreamed about was being a wife, mother, and missionary.

For a long time, I thought I couldn’t have the first two with the third. When I was in high school I started working for a children’s ministry and considered myself a missionary. After college, I started working for this ministry full time, got married, and life was good!

After a year of marriage, we decided to start our family. A year later and we’re still not there yet. There have been many times that I’ve questioned God’s timing in this. But I know He has a plan in everything. And now, maybe that plan has been revealed to me a little.

A couple of weeks ago I was approached with a big need from a family friend. There are three children who soon will need a home. This situation has left me breathless at times waiting for God’s guidance and answers.

In the confusion and panic, my husband has surprised me at every turn. I never thought he would even consider such a thing. Our lives could be turned upside down in a lot of hard ways. I’ve been feeling God’s call toward this, I didn’t think my husband was there. I was wrong! If God calls me to something, I can be confident that He will give my husband peace.

I don’t know yet if this will be a reality. There are a lot of unknowns and many things completely out of our control. I am praying all the time that God’s will would be done. That might seem silly to some but I have seen Him work in my life in so many different ways. He has always provided for me and I am learning to trust Him in everything.

My mom shares wisdom with me all the time and this situation is no different. She gently suggested God could be preparing my heart for something else even if these children don’t end up in our home. He could be drawing me to Him. He could be reminding me to trust Him even when I’m living in a state of confusion.

Have you ever tried to make an impossible decision? Something so hard that it seems like you’re choosing the “right” thing or the “easy” thing. Or maybe they’re both “right” things. Man, that’s a tough one. When you’re confused and don’t know where to go next, remember that God has a plan. The other path might not be a wrong choice. It’s hard to know where God is leading.

Remember how I said early that I was feeling called by God? You might have rolled your eyes. “What does that even mean?” “That’s just an excuse to do what you want.” I’ve thought all of these things when I’ve read that sentence from others. It’s so hard to know what God wants. I have some principles that I personally go by. I heard something somewhere (I would source it if I had any idea where it came from!) “God can’t close a door unless you’re trying to go through it.”

This idea has helped me make many decisions and this one is no different. If you’re struggling with any decisions, such as a new job opportunity or needing to move but not knowing where seek God and He will give you wisdom and peace.

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